A comeback

It sure has been a while since i last blog. But this time around i am blogging coz i just feel like blogging. Just feel like writing something, say something.

I come to realize today that i really miss my friends back in Penang. I miss having my close friends around me. I miss Penang.

Yesterday i met up with an old friend i have not met like about 12 years ago and she asked me a very significant question that made me ponder. How is KL treating me? Is this where i want to be?

And today, i kept wondering. And with this i just have a few words i would like to say to a few people....

To my sister and her family:
I really miss spending time with you guys. Especially the little ones. Family has always meant something to me. I wish things could be different.

To Ashley who is far far away:
I really miss you, girl. Somehow we just click so well. We get along so well and i just miss the conversations we had. The sleepovers and all the long chats we have. I just wished you are here.

To Josie:
I am sorry i have not been that involved in your life and i am sorry i have missed out so much. Being far apart sure is not helping at all but i do miss you. I was really honoured to be your bride's maid and it was a pleasure being one. Thank you.

To Jamie:
We never really talked when we were back in high school but you are a great friend and i am thankful for that. Somehow i just miss you, babe....

To May Yee:
Sometimes silence means more than words. I am sorry i have not been a better friend or sister to you but i just want you to know that i am thankful and grateful to have you in my life. We have been there for each other thru out these years and there were ups and downs but here we are.

A new year for a new Beginning???

Perhaps not...

A New Year is suppose to be a year full of hope, new beginnings. The start of something new but somehow or rather it is quite the opposite till now. What is to become the year ahead is still a mystery. 2009 came so fast, i don't think i am even ready to welcome the new year. New Year resolution??? Not this year i guess. Probably i should just go with the flow and take things as they come. Maybe i shouldn't plan too long ahead. Maybe i was too busy planning my future that i'm blinded by the near present.

Am i just too naive?? Or still having the mind of a 18 year old??

Another year has passed and i look back and wonder what i've learnt this year. What i've been through and the journey i've taken so far in my career. Am i going down the right track or is there another path awaiting for me somewhere? The uncertainties in life is starting to swallow me up, i cant breathe.

I do hope that someday i can stop bothering what people think about me nor what they say about me and just be me. I wish one day i can just be myself and not be someone i'm not just to please the world around me. Perhaps that should be my new year resolution???

Oh God help me...

Haunted by the past

Another week has passed as usual. but somehow this week was tougher than the others. I don't know if it's due to my lack of knowledge or just me being the perfectionist once again. Am i expecting too much from myself again?
Is my old self haunting me yet again?

I ponder upon the past sometimes and wonder who i really am. What are the characteristics i possess that build me up to be this lady i am now? I am being over shadowed by my past or am i who i am?

Wherever i go, whatever i do, i will always think of him. Am i like him? Am i disappointing him? Am i doing the right thing? Have i ever made him proud? Where is he when i need him? Can he hear me?

Then....i'll miss him....miss him....miss him....

No Returns

Rusted no more???

Here i am again....composing my blog after being back from Melbourne for months. Been up and about.

Finally back to where i started.... Lost~!!!

Whatever is done is done...there is no turning back and no return. Just hope for the best to come...

Happy 2008 - A New Beginning

A very happy new year to all. It's a new beginning for me. What is my new year's resolution? Honestly, i have not really thought about it but even if i have, i am not going to list it down. It should and shall remain as a secret.
I enjoyed myself today and for the first time i celebrated new year in another country. It was kinda fun. The best thing is, we are one of the first in the world to celebrate new year before anyone else in the world. The fireworks were good. Not the best but it was good. Every fireworks is good, isn't it?

I just can't believe another year has gone by and here i am, in a new year, starting a new beginning. I will be leaving Melbourne soon and i am starting to miss Melbourne already. The friends i have made here, the family i have made here. I do miss my family back home but right now, i am seriously not looking forward to go home.

I am praying hard that i will get my PR or TR soon. And i'll be back in Melbourne for sure. I will have to miss the Australian Open Tennis 2008 for i am really broke. But i will be back here again to witness the live show next year. Wait for me.

I do have some special message i would like to send out here before i pen off.

This is specially dedicated to my cell group and everyone in MSF. I have truly enjoyed myself here in Melbourne. And to Pauline, i would not have known the Swinburne cell if it were not for you. I am really thankful and grateful to you. I really appreciate it and God Bless You for that. To Hermin, Tince and Ee Ee, i wanna thank you for the guidance, the care and the help provided when i needed it the most. I wouldn't have enjoyed myself that much if not for you all. I would have known Him if not for you all. And most of all, thanks for attending my graduation. I didn't have my own family there but i had you guys there with me and you all are my family. I really am very grateful. No words can describe how thankful i am for everything.

I pray that all of you will be blessed with everything good in this new year.

To my family back home, Happy New Year. I am coming back soon and may the year be a better year for us. To my friends, it has been great knowing all of you.

If i have done anything to hurt any of u in the past, i would like to ask for your forgiveness. I hope we can let bygones be bygones and start this year with wonderful thoughts and blessing. The sky is our limit. The best is yet to come.

God Bless.

Graduation

19th December 2007 - My graduation day. I know i know. I am suppose to upload these pictures earlier but was busy with some other portfolios. What can i say about this day. Hmm...i woke up early, then went to shop for a decent top to wear for my graduation with Shoan, a young lad i met through Melanie. Everyone else was busy with their own family only to leave me alone with Shoan. I finally found something to wear and went straight home to get ready. To my astonishment, a lot of people came to our place to get ready. Albert came about 3pm to bathe and dress up. And some other people too. The place was crowded.
After Jia Ning bathed, i went on to get ready and put on some make up and off we go to the Harthown Town Hall for our graduation. We had to try our gown and get everything ready. Then of course it's photo taking session. I went to sign up for a package to take my graduation pictures which costs me like AUD$180. They will send it straight back to my home in Penang of course. I hope it turn out nice. The photographers were really good and one of them keep asking us to say "More Money." I reckon he was just trying to make us smile.

My cell group friends all came. Hermin was the first one to arrive but i was too busy to entertain him as i was running around looking for people and taking pictures. Poor Shoan was left alone too holding my camera and my flowers.

Ee Laine and the cell bought a bouquet of flowers for me too. They were beautiful. I got another bouquet from my sis and bil.

It was then time for us to queue up and there was a short briefing in the chandelier room. The blowpipes went on and it was time to go into the hall. I have to tell you, i was so happy i just couldn't stop smiling. I was just that happy.

Okay...these are some pics taken before the ceremony.....

Han Hong, Me and Jia Ning....These lilies are from my sis and bil. They were really beautiful but too bad they were all still sleeping. Haha...

I have no idea why the both of them are sleeping....=)

Okay...this is Melanie, my coursemate and a good friend too. The other guy is Thayalan. I've just met him through Mel. Both of them are also from Malaysia. And of course you can see Hong running to us for photo.

So here....Hong is included in the picture...

Then another thick-skin fella Albert, came into the picture as well.

Ahh....finally....just Us...And oh...the roses are from Ee Laine and the cell group.

And here....we entered into the hall. The town hall looks really colonial and it is really nice. Very warm. As you can see...all the graduands are entering the hall.

That is me...I know it is a little blur but it is me...and the deputy chancellor...

When it was almost my turn to go up the stage, i was really nervous and excited. There were butterflies in my stomach and i was shaking. I have no idea why. Then i took a moment to dedicate this very moment to my father, for i've finally done it. I am sure where ever he is right now, he would have been really proud of me. I nearly broke into tears but i just controlled myself really well. And as i went up, there were people cheering. Jia Ning was shouting, so were a few of my other friends and my cell group members too. I was so embarrassed i didn't know where to hide my face.
And the most shocking thing was...the chancellor actually remembered my name. He congratulated me and called me by my name. Wow.

Well, there is a video on my graduation and it is only available for downloading next year so once i get it, i will upload it. No worries.

Below are pictures taken after the ceremony....

Henry, Me, Albert and Sean. Henry is from Sarawak like Albert. He is a PR here and currently working. Sean is from Sri Lanka and he is working in Crown, earning big bucks i reckon.

The cheeky Albert with the girls...lucky guy.

The cell group that attended my graduation.

Ok...from the back from left we have Henry, Ferryan from Indo, Hermin from Indo, Sean, Yonk from Indo, Edwin from Indo.
The middle row we have Chang Wei from Kuantan, Albert, Tince from Indo, Ee Laine, Teresa from China.
First row of course there is me and Phyllis from Hong Kong.

In this pic, we have Pauline, Yunnie, Jun Fei, Me and Albert. All from Malaysia.

Jun Fei and I

Yunnie and I

Ee ee and I

This is Harry from Hong Kong. Funny dude.

Closer look at the stage or the town hall.

Natasha and I. You wouldn't believe it but i have known this girl since she was 9 and i was 12. And we just met again after so many years through Hong. We are great friends now.

Natasha and the bf, Daniel.

Julia from Indo, Ashton and Meng Jiunn both from KL. Both these guys are working part time as bar tenders in the Crown.

Hong and I.

Fools...

I couldn't stand it anymore. It was really hot and i just had to return my gown. But albert was still moseying along with his gown...showing off...hahahaha

Hong entered the scene and I took the hood from Albert.

the guy on the far left is Ian. We were great friends at first but somehow all of us drifted apart.

Nith (the girl in red) just arrived and she is also in my cell group. She is from Laos. The funny guy at the front is Jeremy and the gf Eevonne next to Nith. Funny young lad that Jeremy. He was like a clown on stage when receiving his award. Joker of the day.

I have no idea what Hermin was doing. In my hand is the AUD$20,000 scroll.

I have to say....my own family wasn't here to witness this rather significant day but these people were. And they are my family here in Melbourne. They've been a great friends, brothers and sisters and companion to me. I really want to thank all of them for actually taking the time and effort to be there for my graduation. Of course we had dinner after that. Without them, i don't think my graduation would have been any fun at all. They were there to support me and give me encouragement. This year has been a year of many ups and downs but nevertheless, they were always by my side. I really want to express my deepest gratitude to them especially Ee ee, Hermin, Tince, Nith and Geary.

Even to Jia Ning and Jun Fei. The last 3 months of my stay here has been great. Meng Jiunn has been an angel too...allowing me to use his room to put my things and use his internet connection. And the Johnny and Ash, you guys have been great too. I am sorry i never had the chance to know you guys better or spend more time but i will never forget what you guys have done for me. Thank you.

Mel, Kamil, Fiona's class wouldn't have been that much fun without the two of you. Hahaha...

A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL....i will miss you guys and i will miss Melbourne very much...

Grampians Part 5

The last and final stop was the McKenzie's Fall. We actually have to walk down the stairs all the way down to see the waterfall. There is a mini one on our way down but it's quite far walk down for the waterfall. So to come back up is the big problem. Thank God my mother didn't follow me on this trip or not i can hear her screaming into my ears. She'll be complaining. Trust me...the walk down is worth the effort. Really. The view is breathtaking. I can just sit there and enjoy the sound of the waterfall and the fresh water and nature scent. Of course the crazy us will be taking tonnes of pictures...as usual.
Nevertheless....it is really beautiful....

The Mini waterfall at the midway down...

Us on the bridge...

Haha...

on the rockz...we have to go thru those rocks to get to the other side to embrace the beautiful sight of the waterfall

high up on the rocks.... acting silly

Lioness

we were talking down so much faster than jun fei....so he managed to take this shot...